Category: Stories

In our Parenting Class on Sunday, a group of us parents of young ones were discussing the sermon on Sunday and we were remembering the times when we were very passionate about our relationship with God. And how, just like in our marriages, our relationship with God takes nurturing and work. I can remember a time when I was really “on-fire” for God and it was when I was a Team Member at Methodist Youth camp. I loved serving, singing, sweating, jumping, cleaning and teaching youth all because I loved Jesus. I remember having a quiet time every day that I took seriously and looked forward to that time daily because I really felt a deep love and devotion for God. I remember walking through tough seasons over those four summers in my personal life but having that strong relationship with God was what grounded me. I didn’t understand the counselors that did not take advantage of their quiet time every day because I saw it as such a gift. And still to this day, when I think about the time in my life when I felt that I was closest to God, those four summers come to mind. I even have several journals that I can look back on and read from those quiet times.

Fifteen years later, I am reflecting on how different my life is now. I don’t have a carefree life and a fruitful summer job that pays me to love Jesus and serve others; today my daily schedule looks very different. I have a husband in ministry, three needy and exhausting (yet adorable) children, I have “real” life struggles, like bills to pay, debt to handle, health concerns, sick children, busy loved ones, denominational drama and the worry of the unknown. Don’t get me wrong, I have a life that I LOVE living, but it is very different from when I was 20 years old.

Yet still, I can find that passion for God in the midst of the struggle. I can grow my love for God and neighbor when I don’t see things working out as they once did. And in fact, I have learned more and more this year, that as I share about my own struggles, it opens the door for others to share their struggles and so together we find God in the comfort that we are not alone.

On Sunday, Pastor David used the metaphor of marriage to talk about the passion that the Church at Ephesus had lost in the second chapter of Revelation.

The two questions he asked were these:

Is your love for God as strong as it has ever been?

As you might have already guessed, my love for God is NOT as strong as it has ever been. I just shared how there was a past season in my life where I felt my love for God as strong as it has ever been. To be honest, I believe that part of difference was because I had fewer relationships to pour into, part of it was being at Methodist Youth Camp on Holy Ground and part of it was my youth. As we learned on Sunday, we can REMEMBER or look back on the love I used to have and then it leads to REPENTENCE. Remember that the word, Repent means to find a new way of thinking about my passion for God. If I can REMEMBER that I had more passion once and I want to have more passion again, then my REPENTANCE is finding a new way to cultivate an old feeling in my current season.

The second question asks this. What nurtures your love for God and what eats away at it? Each of us will have a different answer about what nurtures and what eats away, but I can tell you what has never fueled my passion for Jesus is the Hypocrisy of his followers. And so, instead of pointing fingers, I try and practice authenticity in everything I do. I am usually the first one to be real or vulnerable or to admit that “Jesus loves my Hot Mess self” too!

At the same time, I benefit by surrounding myself with truth-tellers. Over the years, I have always seen my love for God grow when people I trust deeply tell me the truth.

“Rachel, you can’t be late as often as you are, it is disrespectful.”

“Rachel, you haven’t been a good listener lately”

“Mommy, put down your phone, I am talking to you.”

“Pastor Rachel, did you ever read that long email I sent you?”

There are other examples like this, I promise you, but here is the point. As these beloved individuals speak truth into my life, they love me in such a way that it feels as if God is speaking through them to me. Because sometimes, the words of others, are words from God and they are delivered with such grace and candor and concern, that we are left changed by their impact.

And so, I leave you with this. As you consider the passion you once had and the passion you hope to have again, are you surrounding yourself with people that speak God’s truth, in love, to you? Are you prepared to receive it? Are you open and authentic in your sharing with those you deeply love and are you able to see how God might be giving you a new way to think about your passion? And as you learn more, are you willing to nurture that passion and work for a stronger and more mature relationship with your Creator?

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

AMEN

In honor of the life and legacy of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the Civil Rights movement, I wanted to share a true story that involves my loved ones.  Before he was the Rev. Dr., he was a student at Boston University and my grandfather, James Marshall Smith, was in his class. Martin was from the Baptist tradition and my Grandfather, my Dad’s father was from the Methodist tradition. You may be wondering, wait, why did Martin go to a Methodist seminary, he was an ordained Baptist minister by 1948 after all, but he wanted to get his Doctorate. At that point, no colleges or universities in the south were admitting black students for PHD’s and so he ended up in the northern part of the United States at Boston University in 1951 where he studied ethics and philosophy. At some point during his Doctoral Degree and my Grandfather’s Masters’s degree, they were in class together. As a child, I remember hearing my grandfather share this connection and it has stuck with me ever since.  We were talking about the importance of this past holiday when I was in Middle School, and my Grandpa shared that he was classmates with this amazing man and so I asked him, “Grandpa, what kind of student was he? Was he a great preacher and orator even then?”

My grandfather responded, “Actually, he was rather quiet and shy. Unfortunately, he was the only black student in any of my classes at BU, but no, he never really spoke up or talked much in class.”

This surprised me of course, because the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King would go on to preach hundreds of times as a Baptist minister, and he would speak passionately and prophetically to thousands over his short lifetime. It was his voice, and others like it, that was the match that lit the flame for the Civil Rights movement.

And so what changed?

Simply put, we are not YET who we are becoming!

That is a powerful word, YET, and our God uses it constantly. As Wesleyans, we believe that we are called to personal and social holiness and that over time we strive to go onto Perfection. We are not YET perfect at loving God and loving others, but we are growing into becoming perfect in loving God and others. Throughout our everyday lives, we will have a chance to see how we are doing on this. And we will have our share of YET moments. Sometimes those YET moments are full of joy as we look back and see that we are different than we once were, more patient, more understanding, more respectful, more confident. Other times those YET moments will be moments of challenge. Maybe we will face conflict and wonder if we are really able to love our enemy as Jesus asks us to do. A relationship may fall a part and we are left trying to put back together the pieces with grace. We fight an illness or a health crisis or financial upheaval and get to see where our hope real lies. In other words, our lives will have many moments that test who we are BECOMING.  And the beautiful thing is that God loves us just as we are but at the same time, sees us as what we can BECOME.

My encouragement to you this week is that you ask God to start to show you what you are BECOMING. If this story from my Grandfather’s past taught me anything, it is that we are meant to GROW because God gives us the power to become our best self. And in the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s case, God used his YET moments to grow him into who he was BECOMING. Those moments of challenge led to growth to take on the generational sin of racism, the unjust laws and policies of that time and to remind people of every background they we are all Beloved Children of God.

“^3-5 There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!”

Romans 5: 3-5 The Message

AMEN

I have a lot of baggage…no really, I do.

As I took my third trip out to the car this morning, before even putting Charlie and Ellie in their car seats, it got me thinking, why do I have to carry around so much? I have this theory that the smaller my children are, the more stuff they need. Let me tell you what I put in the car just this morning.

• Charlie’s backpack
• Ellie’s School bag
• My purse
• My computer
• My lunch
• Ellie’s bottles
• Ellie’s Diaper Bag
• My pumping Bag
• Charlie’s New Toolset that he just HAD to show to his class
• My makeup bag

I mean, c’mon! Ten items that I have to bring to the car every morning and bring back into the house at the end of the day. This is of course not including my tiny humans that also need to end up in my car in the mornings to get to school. And so, it got me thinking about baggage and why I carry around so much.

Believe it or not, most of these items I put in my car are necessary for survival and efficiency and as much as I would like to consolidate, I just can’t if I want to eat and get my work done. And so this isn’t a devotional about simplifying life or practicing the Marie Kondo method of “getting rid of the clutter.” Instead, I want us to think about what baggage I CAN let go of. What about the unnecessary weight I carry around that presses me down and causes me conflict? What about that feeling in the pit of my stomach or that unresolved conversation that I first think about in the morning, what do I do to not carry that with me from day to day?

Believe it or not, pastors, contemplatives and followers of Jesus have wrestled with this from the beginning. We are human after all and we get bogged down from time to time. And so as we start this new year, I want to ask you to consider what baggage are you carrying that is time to let go of? What weight have you held onto long enough that must be released? Maybe it is guilt that you hold onto about something you did or left undone. Maybe it is regret over a past relationship, time in your life or situation you handled poorly? What if your baggage is the weight of what people think of you, or your anger or your inability to let go of things that happened in the past? And sometimes our baggage is from our spiritual past or emotional instability, and we need to set free from that as well.

I have baggage both figuratively and literally. And so do you. What is that baggage you are holding tight to? And for the sake of your family or the next generation, what are you needing to rid yourself of? And how might this new year, new start, fresh opportunity open up a way to let go? Not only does baggage weigh too much and slow us down, but it robs us of the goodness and grace in our lives. It distorts the good and gracious gifts of God by making them appear incomplete. In other words, our unnecessary baggage is a barrier. Unless we don’t take the time each day to slow down long enough to pray and be silent, we may miss it. Our barriers are often hard to see, but sometimes the greatest barriers to our spiritual growth and flourishing are the things we’re already carrying or that we assume are essential. We may have picked them up on our own, or others may have placed them on us. These burdens can weigh us down, prevent us from receiving God’s gifts, and keep us from seeing the needs of others. At the very least our baggage can distract us from the good things God desires to do in our lives.

And so, as we start this new year together, I invite you to pray this prayer below that helps us release the burdens and barriers that have become our baggage back to God.

Good and Gracious God,

I come before You in humble submission and pray that in Your mercy and kindness You would help me to simply let go of all the fears and worries, problems and doubts, guilt and disappointments that seem to be filling my heart and mind so often, during the course of a day.

Fill my hurting soul with Your love and peace I pray. Fill the emptiness and pain that is making life difficult. Lord, You know what is in my heart and why I am going through this time of fear and worry.

Lord, You have told us to think about whatever is lovely and pure and holy and good, and I pray that You would help me to turn the eyes of my heart upon Jesus and look to Him day by day. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen.