Category: Blog

I remember a few years back being on a flight with a really funny flight stewardess. She was explaining all of the safety features that most people tune out these days because they know how to buckle their seatbelt, they understand the job of an exit row and they can follow the in-flight rules. She ended her spiel by making us all giggle when she said that, “In the case of a drop in cabin pressure, please put on your mask first before assisting your child.” Then she added, for extra effect, “If you have more than one child, pick your FAVORITE…”

What a silly concept…choosing my favorite child. I laughed when I heard her say that because at the time, we were only parents to Emmaline. Choosing our favorite child is easy when we only had one; for the first 28 months, Emmaline was our world. Everything revolved around her sleep schedule, her joys and sorrows and Ryan and I shared this new season of parenting really well. And then we became a family of four and the rules for the game changed indefinitely. I now loved Charlie as much as I loved Emmaline and I couldn’t imagine EVER having to choose between the two. Now at age 4 and 2, Emmaline wants more of my time and attention and so she often forces me to set boundaries of time with each. But as I think about their little lives and how my heart has burst open because they are mine, I could not, will not consider ever choosing a FAVORITE. Now there are moments (of course) where I enjoy my time with one more than the other, I’m allowed to say that, right? But ultimately, I desire that both of my children, Emmaline and Charlie will grow every day to know that they are EQUALLY loved, secure, significant and at peace.

This idea of CHOOSING YOUR FAVORITE has challenged me the more I grow in my faith and from a parenting perspective, it is impossible. But every day, we are shown two things and asked to choose. Especially right now, we are stuck in the middle of having to choose between one or the other. I’m not just talking about our Presidential candidates, but living day by day in this world of Black and White. I preached a sermon series on Adam Hamilton’s book, Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, while serving my first church in Gainesville in the Spring of 2016. While that might have been a pertinent topic then, my guess is, four years later, the ability or the willingness to see Gray in a world of Black and White has become even more challenging. But Jesus was a “Gray” kind of guy, was he not? In the First Century world, there were a lot of Black and White perspectives, or far extremes. But somehow Jesus always found the balance; he always found the compromise. Even when backed into a corner by the Pharisees or the religious elite forcing him to choose this OR that, Jesus often times chose BOTH/AND.

We live in a world that asks you to pick your FAVORITE, but we follow a God incarnate who says that all are beloved and matter equally.

When you live in a world that is forcing you to take sides, for instance:
Democrat OR Republican
Traditional OR Progressive
Catholic OR Protestant
Virtual School OR In-Person School
Israel OR Palestine
Gators OR Seminoles (just kidding)…

How do you choose your favorite? How do you pick just ONE? Why is this all that we have to consider? This isn’t healthy and this isn’t right. You see, I believe God created us to be BOTH/AND kind of people with open hearts and willing minds to consider the GRAY, rather than the two extremes.

To quote Rev. Adam Hamilton from his book, Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, chapter five says this:

“When we can hold together, in tension, the call to freedom that comes by grace and the call to holiness in seeking to live by the Spirit, we find the sweet spot- the perfect balance between grace and holiness- that allows our faith to soar.”

Said another way, Paul writes to the Galatians these words:

“^13-14 It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.” Galatians 5:13-14 The Message

I invite you to tune out the language of choosing a Favorite, and instead invite you into a place of Freedom that sees the world through God’s eyes. A world not of extremes, or Favoritism, but full of children that are equally loved, valued and significant that we hope one day will be at peace.

Let it be so.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” Philippians 2:3 

How do we make a difference? How do we make the world a better place?

Personally, I have always believed that one person can make a positive difference if you try hard enough.

When I first left the military, I became a Quality Control Manager at a production facility. As my job title suggested, I was always looking for ways for our company to improve. One day I came home and told my wife, Mia, that I have come up with a new program. I was going to have everyone in the company wear a badge that said “MAD”. To which Mia asked me why I wanted everyone to be angry? Well, after the laughter subsided, I explained that “MAD” was an acronym for Make A Difference!

And what a difference the “MAD” program made. First the company’s production became more efficient as our employee strove to make a difference in their departments. This led to departments striving to improve more than the others. Even things like plant cleanliness became noticeable. Improved quality and Improved production led to happier employees, happier customers and better efficiency for our company. This one simple concept made a difference.

So how does “MAD” relate to us? Well biblically, there are plenty of examples of people making a difference: The Good Samaritan, Paul, Moses, Joseph and on and on. But one of my favorites comes from the Book of Esther. It is the account of a moment in the history of the Jewish people when they were able to turn the tables on those who wanted to destroy them. Here is a recap of the story:

Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, told her about the king’s edict to kill all the Jewish people. Esther, who was King Xerxes’ queen, feared for her life and tried to avoid his request to do something. Mordecai again pleaded with Queen Esther to do something to save the people. Esther responded by instructing all Jews to join her in fasting for three days and three nights, then she would approach the king with her request.

Esther went to King Xerxes after three days of fasting and the king asked her what her request was. Queen Ester asked that the king and Haman join her at a banquet the next day. The king said yes and asked Esther to let her request be known at the banquet. Haman was still so enraged with Mordecai that he went to set up a pole to impale Mordecai the morning before the banquet.

The king could not sleep that night and began to read the book that contained all that had happened during his reign. The king read and was reminded of how Mordecai exposed the plot to assassinate the king. The king wanted to reward Mordecai for his good deed and he called Haman in to ask what should be done for a man who the king delights in. Haman thought the king was talking about himself and responding saying extravagant gifts and honor.  Haman was even more enraged when the king told him it was for Mordecai!

The next day was the banquet Queen Esther had called for. The king again asked Esther what her request was so he could grant her what she wanted. Esther boldly asked that she and her people be spared and that Haman had plotted to kill all Jews for money. The king was filled with anger against Haman and granted Esther’s request.

Esther had suppressed the fear for her life and made a difference.

You know – We all have that same opportunity to make a difference. To do as Jesus has directed- to love one another.  To MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the world. Re-read the verse from Philippians at the beginning of this devotional: “…regard one another as more important than yourselves” There lies the answer to HOW we can and should make a difference in our church, our communities and our world.

So, I will leave you with this thought from the movie Evan Almighty –

How do we change the world? One Random Act of Kindness at a Time!

Be kind. That’s what I am going to do. I hope you do too.

I’m not what you would call a “runner” but I do enjoy jogging and I have run in a few races over the last 5 years that I trained for and enjoyed. My best friend and I are training for a Virtual 5K at the end of this month and I needed some practice. Since moving here 3 months ago, it hasn’t been cool enough to run outside much, but this morning was different. After dropping the kids off at TCA, I parked my car at the Orlando Museum of Art and decided to go on a jogging adventure. I have loved exploring my new city and especially with this beautiful weather, I was ready to find something new. I followed the Orlando Urban Trail a bit and then kept moving in the direction of the Mead Botanical Gardens. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was so glad that I took a chance and explored because I wouldn’t have just stumbled upon this place, so if you haven’t been, you ought to check it out. What impressed me most wasn’t the paved walking paths, the beautiful butterfly garden, or even the prayer labyrinth (even though that was pretty special), no. What impressed me the most was the “Happy to Chat” bench (pictured below). At the end of the walking path is a Greenhouse and a School, I believe. Right in front of this Greenhouse is this bench where you are encouraged to sit and wait for someone else to sit down next to you so you can begin a conversation.

I don’t know if it was because I was a little hot and thirsty, but when I looked at that bench and thought about its intent, I clearly heard the Holy Spirit nudge my heart and say, “That’s what I want my Church to become.” I couldn’t agree more. What a novel idea! What might it be if the church became a place where anybody and everybody could feel comfortable sitting and having a chat with a stranger? But we aren’t there yet, are we?

I won’t say much about the Presidential Debates last night because I am still so saddened and embarrassed by what I saw and heard. But what I will say is that last night clearly showed what a broken people we have become and how quickly humanity is posed to only sit with, engage, and listen to those who we agree with. As I listened to the news, and read social media and hear the hearts of those I love, it seems to me that Church has failed to be a place where anyone can come, regardless of who they are, and are welcomed to Sit and Chat. Now when I speak of the Church, I am not specifically naming one church, or denomination or faith expression; but I am referring to the Body of Christ and I count myself as part of the problem. I have not done enough to show up on the bench and take the time to listen to “the other”. I have not found it in my heart to forgive my enemy all the time and pray for them. I have said unkind and unChrist-like things about people and institutions I disagree with, and I am part of the problem.

In last night’s Fruit of the Spirit Book Study, Pastor Craig led us through Chapter 4 of Francis Chan’s book, Forgotten God. The question we ended with was this:

“Who is God asking you to love FOR GOD today?” We pondered that question as a large group and in our breakout room and I had to say with all vulnerability and truthfulness that I don’t love “the other” as I should or as Jesus would. Notice the question is not about who God is asking you to love FOR YOU today, but who God is asking you to love FOR GOD. There is a big difference. Because let’s face it, we love those that benefit us, don’t we? Our nature is to love and spend time with those that are like us, who vote the way we do, and who reciprocate our love in return. But that is not the way of the Cross; that is not the calling of one who follows Jesus, I’m afraid. In one of the hardest and most convicting chapters in the Gospels, Jesus says these words:

³² “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 

³³ If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 

³⁴ If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 

³⁵ But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 

³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Luke 6:32-36 (NRSV)

I think Mercy looks a lot like the “Happy to Chat” bench that I saw and sat down at this morning. I think Mercy is what Jesus had in mind when he taught us to pray the prayer that asks God’s Will to be done on earth just as it is done in Heaven. And I believe that the world, and especially our nation needs followers of Jesus to live into the uncomfortable moments ahead that open ourselves up for a conversation with someone different from us. It won’t be easy because cultural Christianity has been confused with actually following Jesus and obediently loving as God loves. But I think last night proved that we are in desperate need of a cultural change, for a revival of God’s Holy Spirit and for people who claim to love Christ to be willing to sit at a “Happy to Chat” Bench in their own personal lives and see what God does next.

Let it be so.

Community in the Period of Pandemic and Beyond
By Betsy McKeeby

I have had a lot of personal experience with dementia and am presently serving on the Advisory Board for the Brain Fitness Academy at FUMCWP.  Because of these experiences, I’ve been reflecting on the importance of community for each other.

We use the expression of Vibrant Family often in our church.  It is the name of one of our 4 pillars, for which Pastor Rachel Delaune provides pastoral leadership and Lynn Striepe serves as the lay head. In our theology we speak of God the Father and that we are His children as part of our family image. Today I want to talk about the subgroup of people who have memory loss or any form of dementia like Alzheimer’s Disease as well as their care partners.  Our society puts so much emphasis on ability and performance that these groups can be overlooked as their participation and contribution changes. Because of discomfort in traditional worship settings, this group often decreases attendance and it is easy for the church family to operate on an “out of sight, out of mind” pattern.  This results in a loss of the benefits of the active church family.

This period of forced separation (to avoid spreading of any illness) has presented us with an opportunity to learn new ways to be a family.  Romans 8:16 says “We are all children of God and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ.”  As a family, Paul tells us in I Corinthians 12:26, “If one member suffers, all suffer together with it, if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.”

As we reflect on our faith family, why should we focus on those impacted by memory loss or dementia?   According to the Alzheimer’s Association, 5.8 million people age 65 of older have dementia in the US.  While 80% of these individuals are 75 or older, 1 in 10 women over age 65 is impacted. Alzheimer’s is now the 6th cause of death for adults.  The number of people with dementia listed on their death certificate has doubled between 2000 and 2018.   Even with these high numbers, you may not see the impact around you until your family, neighbors, or friends are directly impacted.  Once your life is directly touched, you notice and hear of those with dementia who have been hidden in the shadows are all around you.

How are we to respond as a church family?  We are blessed to have a program offered here at the church (though now on zoom) for those with early dementia to come 2 days per week for structured activities targeting brain functions as well as experiencing sharing with others.  The Brain Fitness Academy collaborates with UCF Communication Disorders Clinic who develops individual lesson plans for each member.  If interested contact the Brain Fitness Academy at brainfitness@fumcwp.org to learn more or to schedule an evaluation for appropriateness of the program.

How can we as individuals support individuals with memory loss or their care partners?  Maintaining social support and interactions seems to slow the progression of losses.  Sharing games, physical activity, and music are examples of ways to enjoy the present moment. Physical touch is important and can include holding hands, brushing hair, or gentle massage.  If unable to be with a loved one, take advantage of modern technology such as portals or skype to be able to pair video and speech.  With a simple set-up, these systems can be used with minimal support initially and allow contact though more assistance is needed as disease progresses.

As a church family, we can be present and with our neighbors and friends also.  Observing for changes in behavior, difficulties with driving or lack of attention to physical care such as weight change or missing medical checks should be discussed with the individual but family can also be contacted to express concerns. It is not unusual for losses to not be apparent to someone who is absent and just relying on phone calls. A thorough medical evaluation is essential for diagnosis and to identify reversible problems.

Church friends can be part of the support team. As losses progress, friends can be eyes, ears and hands to help an individual maintain independence.  This allows us to help carry the burden of another.  Though professionals may be necessary, the value of familiar contacts has unique value in providing affirmation of the importance of the friendship. Connecting about shared experiences and interests supports communication skills.

Because we know God is love, we are called to show love to all.  Looking for those that some might say are the “least of these” provides an opportunity to give love but also to receive in unexpected ways.  The person who is unable to speak is just as valuable as a person who has lots of power and prestige. Making a connection through a story, picture or song or seeing a smile and bright eyes affirm that this person is alive and a child of God. My challenge is for you to find someone this week who is “in the shadows” and isolated from previous activities and to connect with them by phone, cards and when possible in person.

Psalm 145:9 says, “The Lord is good to ALL and his compassion is over ALL that he has made.”